Another Piece of My Puzzle

When I was a little kid I loved to draw people. I designed clothes often enough, but as I discovered the last time I went through my mother's attic and found my old sketchbooks, it seems my favourite thing to draw was women in kinky lingerie.

I suspect this trend began because I used to steal my mother's Victoria's Secret and Fredericks of Hollywood catalogs to use as pose reference. At first I had no idea what lingerie was for- to my naive eyes it was just another sort of dress up costume. But judging from later sketchbooks, I figured out its purpose pretty quickly. Soon my women were brandishing whips and wearing corsets. I don't think I understood exactly what I was drawing, but on some level I figured out that this stuff was supposed to be sexy.

Flash forward sixteen years and I have begun to develop a sudden obsession with high-end lingerie and innovative, strappy contraptions that serve no purpose other than looking fucking sexy.

So a new dimension to my design future has begun developing in the back of my head. I think it's time to start up my youthful habit of drawing half naked women again. Only this time I want to add it to my developing design line. I was to design and produce shoes, latex clothing, and innovative/naughty lingerie. I know there are companies that dabble in similar spheres, but I have a rather unique design aesthetic and I think I could put together the most amazing boutique full of fabulous-ness!

This plan of mine has been growing and developing in the last few days. It makes me so happy to consider making this plan a reality. I really want to make this happen....

< / First Year at CSM >

Today was my final day of first year at Central St Martins.

I can hear music blasting from every floor of the student halls. Drunks are occupying on every corner. I must be the only person not out celebrating.

"Ceeeeeeelebrate good times, come on!"

I am in my very stuffy dorm room watching bad movies and fucking up my healthy diet by eating some ice cream. My flat mates are out. I have the whole place to myself. It's lonely and rather lovely. I should watch a scary movie....

"Are you still my sunshine?"

So you probably want to know how my last day went. Well.... hm. My crit was, um, uneventful and confusing. Evil Tutor was there and as per usual he gave me NO FEEDBACK. My crit was literally three minutes long. I have no idea what he thought, or what my grade will be. Big surprise, right?

Just as a point of interest, my best London friend presented immediately after I did... She walked up to the tutor as I took my model into the bathroom to de-latex her. About 5 minutes later my model, cleaned and dressed, walked back into the room to gather her stuff, and my friend was still discussing her work with Evil Tutor. I walked my model down to the ground floor and we hugged and said goodbye and I walked all the way back up to the room where we were presenting. All in all, I was out of the room for a total of about ten minutes and when I got back my friend was STILL getting in depth feedback from Evil Tutor.

See, this is how he operates. If he loves you or hates you, he gives you TONS of feedback. If he thinks you are a lost cause or doesn't understand your work at all, he more or less ignores you completely. I am always ignored. Always have been. And not because he doesn't understand, but I can tell that he feels I'm a lost cause.

Frankly, I don't give a damn anymore. Whether or not I get kicked out, I never have to deal with that useless little fucker again.

"What is love, baby don't hurt me...." (There is some asshole on the street singing along loudly and catcalling all the cute girls that walk by. He hasn't left which means no one has fallen for his line yet.)

Oh and another point of interest- I saw my grade for the denim project today. My lowest grade yet! 28. GO ME! *roll eyes*

I guess in the end it really doesn't matter because my dress was very well received by most of the class and my model looked fabulous in it. It's only the second latex garment I've ever made. It was a laborious and tiring way to do it, but it came out looking precisely like my drawing (except for a few fitting issues that I will go fix in a little while).

Observe, readers:

So, what do you think?


I would like to end this entry with some grand, eloquent words about what I have learned from CSM. But I have no words like that at my disposal at the moment. My brain power is limited to romcoms and chocolate this evening. So instead I end this, the last day of first year (and quite possibly my last day at CSM ever) with these wise, learned words of wisdomness:

Sleep is a wonderful thing. Good night.