Friday

Yesterday:

Dancing to Lady Gaga with Eva who was wearing my highest, most ridiculous platform heels, driving gloves, and a huge gold mask. This girl is going to be a performer- she was practically vogue-ing.

Spending far too much money on vintage-inspired dresses and future-inspired shoes.

Heading out to Kinky Salon where we met the hottest fast zombie ever (aka our friend Arwen) who took us back to her awesome flat to watch Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl which was a fine example of uh, quality film making.

Getting home at 3:30am and being taken advantage of.


Awesome Friday.

25 pt 2- a shoe-filled happy day!

My 25th birthday was awesome! The only thing that could have made it even better would be having my boyfriend here with me.


As I walked home through the park, carrying a berry tart and a bag full of goodies I thought back to my birthday one year ago. I was turning 24 and spending my birthday alone. I didn't really know anyone, had just left Saint Martins and I was feeling pretty shaken up. And now at 25 I spent the day surrounded by some of my favourite people, feasting on tea and cake, and trying on shoes I could never afford with my favourite redhead!

The day began a bit badly when my birthday high heels were delivered and I found to my dismay that they'd sent the wrong size. Having planned to meet said Favourite Redhead at Liberty for tea and cake I suggested we meet outside Selfridges, so I could return the shoes I'd ordered.

I've always been afraid of big fancy department stores like Selfridges, but today I found it really fun to go in and browse. I returned the shoes and instead bought the ones I REALLY wanted in the right size. And because it was my birthday I  let myself go try on ridiculously high shoes and prance around the store for a while...

 

Then, to make sure the day was FULL of shoes, we visited the Vivienne Westwood shoe exhibit in the basement of the store. And Oh. My. God. SO inspiring! SO brilliant! If you are in London, and love the glorious Miss Westwood, go take a look at the mini-exhibition. It's worth your time, trust me!

Feeling a bit like a tourist with my American accent and big ol' yellow Selfridges bag, we made our way to Liberty- another store I've been scared of- for fancy tea and cake. We ate so much cake we both had an insane sugar high followed by an immediate food coma. But the coma was offset by the best birthday gift ever.... a miniature red silk fez, custom made just for me! It is made to sit on the left side of my head at a jaunty angle. I LOVE IT! It makes me go SQUEEEEEE every time I think about it!

After tea we wandered upstairs to the shoe department just for a looksee (because, yaknow, we hadn't seen enough footwear for one day) before heading out into the Carnaby street crowd. We passed Irregular Choice's new store and spotted a pair of boots in the window that I'd been curious about. So I figured, it being my birthday and all...... and the boots looked SO good and fit SO comfortably that I have decided to get them as soon as I can afford them. They are space girl rockstar boots!

Then it was time to head back to East London where my coworkers (have I mentioned my new job yet?) were having a September Birthday Do, as 4 of the 5 of us have September birthdays. I'd invited a few friends and took my shoes, my fez, and my girl with me to the bar. We were greeted with hugs and an open bar tab, and a huge red fruity tart just for me! :) How did they know I prefer fruity things to cake?

Friends turned up, drinks were had, chatting seemed to be going well when my boss suddenly pulls out his phone to show me a photo. "Lady Gray," he says (he calls me that in the office to distinguish between myself and the other Rachel),  "what is your opinion of these shoes?" He shows me a pair of United Nude heels that I have seen before and liked. Knowing United Nude is having a sample sale at Truman Brewery (get down there, people!) and knowing he's been looking for a pair for his Rachel, I gave them a thumbs up. Then he said, "well if you like them, they are yours! I found them in a size 41, and Rachel said you'd like them and I thought they might be your style, so...." My boss bought me shoes! SQUEEEEEEEE! 

 

The evening ended and I was full of gin and tonics, covered in birthday kisses and hugs, carrying cakes, shoes, a graphic novel my friend illustrated, and a fez made just for me all the way home.

It was a very good day.

Tiny Steps

Today I did something I've been wanting to do for over a year. Today I threw out the project that haunted me and nearly drove me to murder at Central Saint Martins. I never got rid of it for fear that, I dunno, I might suddenly fall in love with it later on. I unceremoniously shoved it under my bed and glared at it every time I happened to catch a glimpse.

Remember this horrible thing?

No you probably don't, and that's a good thing. It was a two person project and I got teamed up with my favourite person in the whole class. She and I worked out asses off, doing every step of the project together. She designed and printed the muscle-inspired dress, and I designed and printed and made the skeleton-inspired cage over it, printed with a photograph of hair and skin.

When it came time to present the entire class was impressed with what we had pulled off in ten days. I hated it, and it wasn't well made, but at least it was done and it looked just like my idea. However when it came down to grading, my partner passed and I failed. We were graded by the Evil Tutor, who adored her and hated me.

I was so furious and defeated at that point I gave up. I stopped feeling any semblence of optimism and began assuming the worst- which did indeed come to pass. This project marked the beginning of the end in my mind.

So today I pulled this piece of shit out from under the bed, pulled the dust bunnies off of it....

Carried it downstairs looking like a hairy, curled up dead spider.....

And happily threw it into the skip, never to be seen again!
 

It was incredibly liberating! I look forward to going through my other projects soon and tossing them out as well!

Needleful Day

"I'd like to say you were brave about getting pierced today...." 
"But I really wasn't."
"Yeah, you really weren't..."

Today has been a needle-heavy day for me. Piercing needles, knitting needles, and suture needles. It began at Cold Steel in Camden (where my "FUUUUCK" exclamation of pain shocked the piercer), and ended at the Hunterian Museum for a late night crafty evening with two of my favourite girls. 

The little medical museum was full of people learning to knit, weave, spin, and sew sutures. Surrounded by tumorous duck heads in jars and hundred year old surgical equipment a giant group of crafty fools giggled and knitted away from 6-10pm. Quite a lovely way to spend a Friday night, actually.

I got an introduction to knitting ("Mr T. on knitting: 'I knitty the fool!'") and then had a glass of wine while we learned how to sew sutures onto fake arms.


For someone with a fear of needles, I had a pretty needleful day.

Christmas coming early!

I feel like someone just told me it's Christmas. Two of my favourite people in San Francisco have informed that that they want to work with me. As if that wasn't awesome enough these friends also happen to have an outfitted workshop, space to make stuff, tools, knowledge, and have asked me to collaborate on some projects and events when I move back!

*squeeeeee

I have awesome friends :)

Victor? Victoria?

An actual conversation between myself and a girl I met today:

     Me: "I love the sequins on your sweater." 

     Her: "You're just a human magpie aren't you?" 

     Me: "I prefer the term 'drag queen' actually, thank you..."

Where I'm Supposed To Be

My design mentor moved to a new studio, and I haven't been able to work with him for a number of weeks now. I was starting to worry that he was mentally doing design work and I was missing out on all the fun. What with my limited time left in London, any day spent not learning or working is a day wasted to me. So I've wasted three weeks sitting on my ass and moping.

Today was my first day back, and I feel high.

Not only is his new studio open, bright and shared with a few really cool designers, there is an onsite workshop full of power tools and saws and and and! I get so excited by workshops, I can't help it. It's a dream come true- this is exactly the sort of space I would want to have as a designer.

Although I spent the day doing menial tasks for no pay, I was finally reminded of why I'm leaving my retail job and choosing to be a broke intern instead. THIS is where I'm supposed to be- covered in sawdust, learning to shape and pour my own resin heel shapes, working on 3d modeling for rapid prototyping, playing with leather, latex, wood, rope, foam, plastic, and metal. I'm supposed to be engaging in creative discussions and brainstorming ideas with real designers, not selling strangers shoes and bags made by other people.

This is a good thing. Even if I have to make pouty faces at my friends to buy me dinner now and again. Leaving my retail position is a good decision. I am sure of it now.

Reappearing Act

The ones you love most are always the ones you have the most tumultuous relationships with. It was that way with my very best friend through high school. She and I were inseparable, and we brought out the worst and best in each other. So when the tiny cracks between us began to widen, it was a dramatic, horrible ending. We haven't spoken in about four years. I knew that so much of our falling out was my fault, and I wanted to let her know that I was sorry. But I had no idea how to track her down. She had no web presence, I didn't have any phone numbers that worked, and we didn't have any mutual friends.

To me, she disappeared and was never heard from again.

Just before I left for London I found a blank profile on facebook registered under her name. She has a very unique name and so I sent a quick note just to see if anyone would respond. But no one ever did and the profile remained blank. I often wondered what happened to her. I worried about her. I hoped she was well and happy.

Time passed, I went to fashion school, my boyfriend and I became a proper couple, I moved to London, I went to CSM, I left CSM, I started a whole new life, I've made new friends, but she has often popped up in my thoughts.

Two days ago I received a response to that facebook message, accompanied by a friend request. It was her! (Turns out she didn't know how to track me down either, and never uses facebook.) She is alive and well and felt as awful as I did about how things ended. We both just want to catch up and hang out again, even if we can only do it via email for the time being.

To me it feels like she just came back from the dead. I am giddy over her sudden reappearance, and I've just hit Send on the first of what I hope will be many, many emails with my long lost friend.

PanTease!

The best way to spend a Saturday afternoon, in my humble opinion, is in an underground venue with tea and cake, a hot redhead by your side, and sexy, talented people stripping for your viewing pleasure. I also advise that you then hang out with the sexy talented people for the remainder of the evening and wander around in the rain giggling and talking about sparkles. I would recommend that you fill all of your days with hilariously clever people, feathers, sequins, balloon popping, boobs, butts, stockings, nipple tassels, sailors, boy-lesque, and sugar.

Yes, I can safely say that in my experience, this is a good way to spend a Saturday.

*Sigh, So True

Who Needs Fashion Week....

... When you have inspiration like this??

Fashion Week Friday

I am home from the fashion show, and I have kicked off my incredibly high heels. A cuppa tea, some food to balance out all the wine I had.....It was a good night.

The catwalk shows were held in a subterranean bar that used to be a bath house. The walls had skeletal wallpaper, the corners were draped in red velvet, and the place was lit by candles in golden candelabras. FAB. U. LOUS!

The clothes were by designer James Hock, and some of the key pieces were really fun. (Sadly, I didn't get great photos)

The catwalk was preceded by a showing of the short shoe-film I helped make, and it was the first time I saw it put together. It was beautiful. I was proud to be involved. I met some cool people, made a new contact or two, and began discussing the next collection with the designer. Turns out he wants to start working on his next collection in a week or two and wants me involved from the very beginning!!! This means I'm going to learn some 3d work in Rhino, some mould-making techniques, some design, and then probably how to deal with getting prototypes made. This is EPIC! I can't wait!

What I wore to fashion week: Fluevog boots, Betsey Johnson dress, vintage fur jacket, and a fur hat given to me the day before by my favourite redhead. I went for that 6'5" Russian spy girl look...

Oh! I also realize I have never mentioned who it is I'm working with. His name is Eelko Moorer and the girl who made the stop-motion film of Eelko's work is Catherine Anyango who unfortunately doesn't seem to have a proper site up yet. Her work is incredible, and when I can get a copy of the film, I will post it here for all to see. For the record, they are both incredibly cool people and great to work with. I can't wait to start a new project!

Shoe Box Shelving

I bought a desk when I moved into this flat, but it hasn't gone to much use. I spent most of the summer being too mopey to do art. But I'm back in the game and it is now time to start making it into a useful space where I can focus on my work.

There is very little storage in this room and so I struggle with cleaning up clutter. But I came up with a rather appropriate solution to my problem- shoebox shelving! I grabbed some boxes from work that were going to be thrown out and clipped them together to make some mini shelves for random stuff, and books, etc. Elegant? No. Useful and funny for the time being? Yes.

(Also note the roses that appeared at my job on Sunday.... *kisses to boyfriend)

Mini-Internship, No-Go. Real Internship, GO!

It is disappointing, but due to some problems with the footage, it looks like the film we were working on isn't going to be complete in time for London Fashion Week. The designer called me today and I could hear how depressed he was, even though he was trying to be positive about it- "I'd rather release my line later and be proud of the product than release something shitty and start off on the wrong foot," he said. I agree with him, but I'm very sorry he won't be putting his work out there this season.

But it looks like my eagerness to work with him has paid off in the long run. After he explained the film situation, he followed up by asking if I would come back to work with him on making and designing actual shoes in a few weeks! Looks like we'll be working on mould-making for unique heel shapes, production techniques, actual making/sewing/etc, pattern cutting.....  His work is amazing, so I know I will learn a lot!

It seems that I have gone from a mini-internship to a proper internship in a matter of days. I'm thrilled!

Mini-Internship, day 3

Today I was loaned out to the girl who is shooting the film we're working on for London Fashion Week (to promote the designer's new shoe line- which is AMAZING). For the most part I cut paper and props for the miniature set. Very. Exciting. Work. Yes. Also, my hand is killing me and I never want to see scissors again.

However it was a great day. The film girl is lovely and I'd really like to work with her again. She's an incredible artist, but very modest and sane. She works in this old warehouse with great light, where digital artists rent out a desk space and all share the building. It's ideal! I only wish my art of choice wasn't so noisy and messy. I would love to rent a space there- the atmosphere of arty people working together is enough structure to keep me in line, but without the stress of school and evil tutors.

There was a sweet dog roaming around the studio, lots of tea, yummy food, hilarious people. Watched two graphic designers play Quake against each other for 15 minutes to blow off steam. Talked shit about CSM (YEAY!) and generally had a decent day.

Ow, my hands hurt.

Tomorrow I have to work at the shoe store. I wish I didn't have to because I could be of use on the project. But I couldn't get out of work- in fact I even have to work Sunday too (which I hate doing). But after work on Sunday I'm going over to the set and helping out all evening.

I am going to be exhausted. I already am. Which reminds me. I better go to sleep.

G'nite!

Mini-Internship, day 2

Ran errands all morning, worked until 10pm. Had some wine, had some food, met the designer's girlfriend, hummed along to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs while I worked. Weighed in on a few design decisions (fun!). Learned a bit about mould making. Then I fucked up a little.... but he didn't blame me, and with the help of his brilliant girlfriend we figured out a solution.

Tomorrow I go help one of the other people working on his project, and then back to his studio to work some more.

Then I work my retail job all weekend (oh god!) And then I think I'm back on my mini-internship Monday.

I am absolutely knackered. G'nite. 

Mini-Internship, day 1

Today was a big day for me because I began working on a short-term project with a shoe designer. I haven't mentioned it on here yet because I wasn't sure if it was going to happen. I met him through my little independent shoe school and really admired his work, so I bugged him and hassled him and charmed him and smiled very nicely until he found a use for me.

One day into it and I'm already learning things about making shoes, even though this project has nothing to do with making shoes. I've gotten to look through his technical specs, we talked about casting strangely shaped heels (yeay!), and I even found myself able to critique the quality of craftsmanship on the sample shoes his factory sent him -sure, I couldn't do any better, but I was pleased that I have a good eye for quality even if I can't achieve it yet.

And most importantly, he left me to my own devices at several times during the day. Which to me means that he trusted me to not fuck things up, and be resourceful enough to sort things out. That speaks volumes.

I had a good day.

This Used to Be Me... (and between you and me, sometimes still is)

"There's a club if you'd like to go. You could meet somebody who really loves you. So you go and you stand on your own. And you leave on your own. And you go home, and you cry and you want to die."

Etc etc and so forth and so on.

Returning to England

It's Friday afternoon and the realization that I leave in three days has suddenly hit me. I am starting to feel the stress that was so familiar to me this past year as I begin planning to leave The Boy and go back to London.

But this time is different from all the others. I am trying to balance out the familiar dread by reminding myself of all the good things about my life in London since I left CSM. This will be the first time I'll be returning to my flat and NOT the horrible student halls. It will be the first time I return without having to go back to another term at the dreaded CSM. In fact I am already looking forward to taking more classes in shoes, and seeking out an internship. I also have a job to return to. It is also the first time I'm returning with friends, events, and familiar habits waiting for me on the other side. So I need to keep reminding myself of this any time I start to dread my return to England.

My last year in England will be good. Remind me of this when I start to complain.

Another Piece of My Puzzle

When I was a little kid I loved to draw people. I designed clothes often enough, but as I discovered the last time I went through my mother's attic and found my old sketchbooks, it seems my favourite thing to draw was women in kinky lingerie.

I suspect this trend began because I used to steal my mother's Victoria's Secret and Fredericks of Hollywood catalogs to use as pose reference. At first I had no idea what lingerie was for- to my naive eyes it was just another sort of dress up costume. But judging from later sketchbooks, I figured out its purpose pretty quickly. Soon my women were brandishing whips and wearing corsets. I don't think I understood exactly what I was drawing, but on some level I figured out that this stuff was supposed to be sexy.

Flash forward sixteen years and I have begun to develop a sudden obsession with high-end lingerie and innovative, strappy contraptions that serve no purpose other than looking fucking sexy.

So a new dimension to my design future has begun developing in the back of my head. I think it's time to start up my youthful habit of drawing half naked women again. Only this time I want to add it to my developing design line. I was to design and produce shoes, latex clothing, and innovative/naughty lingerie. I know there are companies that dabble in similar spheres, but I have a rather unique design aesthetic and I think I could put together the most amazing boutique full of fabulous-ness!

This plan of mine has been growing and developing in the last few days. It makes me so happy to consider making this plan a reality. I really want to make this happen....