The Anxiety Dream of CSM

Last night I had the strangest anxiety dream. It didn't have any of the normal trappings of an anxiety dream- in fact most of those classic things happened, but I wasn't worried about those. What I was worried about in this dream was not being helped when I needed it most.

So my dream began on the morning of a project presentation at Saint Martins. I had worked my ass off and created an epic presentation, a beautiful dress to show, and I was nervous, but ready. We had to present in a theatre, mic in hand, to an audience full of people. That didn't bother me.

The dream skipped forward and I ran up on stage, grabbed the mic and began to banter with the audience and tell them a little about my project. I was ready for my model to come on stage. But no one came. It turns out that my classmates/friends didn't feel like trying on my dress, and just decided not to model for me. So I had no dress to show, and the rest of my presentation rested on having the model out there on stage with me.

I turned it into a joke on stage, and ended my presentation without actually presenting anything. Backstage, I was furious! I looked at my group of tall, skinny classmates that had agreed to model and demanded to know why they just caused me to publicly fail my project when I had worked so hard on it. They answered with, "we're tired," and that was that.


I woke up feeling let down and untrusting.

The Dream of PanPan

Last night I had a dream about a giant snub-nosed monster named PanPan. PanPan roamed the countryside eating top-of-the-class art students. When not eating students he ate dim sum pastries, and turned people into scary but harmless zombies that required poking with a sharp stick twice to unzombify. 

It was also a musical, starring Julie Andrews. 

PanPan could smell the scent of spray mount from miles away, and so Julie Andrews bravely sprayed a trail away from the students and into the woods. The spray mount trail led to a box of dynamite, packed within the corpses of  drowned students. (There was a touching musical number here involving the singing, walking corpses being led to their explosive second death by Julie Andrews who all the while sang about how their sacrifice would save future generations of aspiring artists and designers.)

In the end Julie Andrews (in a white and black frilly dress) and her chorus of the drowned saved the day, and PanPan, though not blown up, was too scared to terrorize art students again.