26 January, 2008

Goodbye, Mom

I just got off the phone with my mom, and realized for the first time that I will really truly miss her when I leave. We have had our differences, but she is my mom, and she loves me unconditionally. She is really happy for me, and very proud of me, and even a little jealous, but by next fall, she will be half way around the world, eight hours apart, and living on a separate land mass from me.

I keep thinking about London as though my life, my favorite people, and my apartment will be transplanted there with only minor changes. It's slowly sinking in that I not only have eight months left with my boyfriend and my friends, but also with my family. And I realized that I will arrive in London alone, find my way to CSM alone, and sleep there alone in my little room while I try and create a new life for myself in a place where I know almost no one. And I know I will build a life there, but it will take time. And there will be things I will love, and things I will hate, just like here. I will find some people that I like, and some that I despise, and some that I will laugh at. But it will take time.

I suppose tonight is the first time I really understood that I will be starting over, and truly alone for the first time in my life.

Suddenly I realize how short eight months is....

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