I can barely see what I am typing for the sunlight shining through the window. I am obviously not in London as I type this. I am in fact sitting in one of my old haunts in San Francisco watching the weather change from sunny to rainy and back again.
I've been back for nearly two weeks. I don't know how time is passing so quickly. I avoided coming back to SF for nearly nine months. After the CSM debacle I had to take some time to flail and run in circles. I suppose I felt intimidated by the caliber of friend I have in SF. Everyone I know is doing something- usually something noteworthy. I admit it was a self-centered impulse, but I didn't want to come back having failed out of a world class school without something interesting to show for it. My friends wouldn't have judged me or even cared of course, but I would have found ways to sense judgment where it wasn't. This summer was a really shitty time for me and I needed the time to sort my shit out. And I did, through shoes.
I was chatting with my friend Kitty the other day and I found myself saying, "you pick 'your thing' and you do it and do it and do it until people start to take notice." That is what I need to do. Make design my thing and just do it. And do it. And do it. And find people who want to work with/for me to help me do it. I am re-inspired to take a look over my shoe design sketches and think about investing some time and money into prototyping.
Yesterday I tromped around Isotope Comics in reflective silver boots and drank gin and tonics with lovely people. The store owner and local supervillain James talked me up to his customers and friends as though I were a celebrity. Like I said on Twitter the other day (do you follow me on twitter?) "Sometimes you feel like you're with the band. Sometimes you are the band. And sometimes you haven't even heard of the band and everyone laughs at you." James is one of those rare people who can't help but make everyone feel like they are in the band.
So here I am, back in San Francisco, missing London, but feeling like I never left this city. Of course I did leave. And I will be leaving again on the 25th and returning to England, which currently looks like this:
(thanks to Mr Ellis for the picture)
Though for now, I'm just going to enjoy my bitter coffee, served to me by a bitter barista, in a dirty cafe full of surly people.
And now I leave you with a photo I took in Chinatown.
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