27 January, 2009


I was dreading today all weekend.

Sitting around a table with the head of my program and one of my tutors discussing my shamefully bad projects from last term didn't sound like a recipe for a good time. On top of that, I was to meet with another of my tutors for my current project, and I was terribly nervous.

But everything went remarkably well. I was given some suggestions and useful ways to approach research and future projects. My current work was well received and the tutor that tore me to pieces last time said that I clearly took the time to work my project into something far more interesting than before. So I got the go-ahead to begin making the garment.

Getting the green light from her took a huge load of stress off of me because from here on out, the project is about practical work and problem-solving, instead of creative design. I've been so involved in trying to understand this project that I haven't been able to get into the creative mindset to also work on my You-Failed-And-Have-To-Redo-Everything "retrieval project". So now, I can stop thinking about this assignment long enough to work on the other. Finally. Thank god.

On top of that, I spoke with one of my tutors about the retrieval project and asked to meet with him on Friday about it because I was having a lot of trouble. He actually smiled and said he would be around in the afternoon and that I should come by and ask him questions. What the....? Someone is going to actually give me some input on a project? Good heavens! :o

I just experienced the mythical positive feedback moment at CSM. I don't have less work than I did this morning when I went in to school, but I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off of me.

A few good things that were said today during my tutorials:

-I am very good at drawing my ideas and communicating them to others
-I am very good at organizing people and working with others
-I am creative, but get lost along the way, so I need to stay focused and stop confusing myself with so many sources of inspiration at once.
-I need to think of research and my sketchbook as a problem that I am trying to solve, a question I am trying to answer. I should collect images that inspire me, ask myself WHY they inspire me, and then work from them directly while I resolve the questions they pose.
-I need to develop my ideas more on paper and not be afraid of minimalistic pages.

So I guess it wasn't such a scary day after all. To celebrate I am going to the gym. I am just so buoyed by the events of today that I am eager to try and start my second project this evening. Finally, some positive reinforcement.

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