Well Fuck You Too!

You are looking at the oh-so-proud recipient of yet another failing grade.

Unsurprisingly, this grade was given by the same tutor who failed me the last term. Hm, and I got almost exactly the same grade. In fact, almost everyone who failed that last project also failed this one. Makes one wonder. Are we all really not improving at all? Or is there a bias of some kind at work here?

This was a huge let down. I didn't think my project was fabulous, but I don't think I deserved to fail. My team mate passed, and she is FURIOUS at the tutor on my behalf. But I am just feeling defeated.

I tried to not let this news get to me. Thirteen people failed again, and there were some tears and slamming of lockers. But I just silently scrubbed at my fabric and tried to think of other things. I was feeling alright about it for a few hours when my fabric decided to misbehave. It didn't help that this current assignment (which is due tomorrow morning) had some sort of unknown chemical reaction and didn't actually do what it was supposed to do. The print looks a bit shit and I am very annoyed. Not only that, but the entirety of the project has had to be changed because I ran out of time and money. I have a very bad feeling about my project now. I expect I will fail this one as well.

If I fail two projects there is a very good chance I will have to do ANOTHER retrieval project. And I absolutely cannot do that again. I cannot. And I will not. It killed me this term. I am physically wrecked and emotionally worn down to a very thin strip of something that once passed for sanity. The retrieval project is a large part of the reason I did so poorly on the project I just failed.

So if they send me a retrieval project over this holiday, I will do one of two things. I will repeal it, and then not do the stupid thing, instead handing in a letter explaining why I chose not to do it. OR, I will do the project on porn.

Yes, I will do my retrieval project on hardcore porn, just to give them a big ol' FUCK YOU. I'm talking spread pink, big hard cock, cum dripping down her asshole porn. And not only will I do it on porn, I will print a photograph of a giant spread pussy down the front of the dress, and fill my sketchbook with images of sex and all the mess that goes along with it. I will make it the filthiest thing they've ever seen, but I will make it really beautifully and do everything the way they like it done. If they don't like it when I try to make beautiful things, perhaps they should see what it's like when I try to make ugly things...

So fuck you CSM and fuck you Tutor-That-Hates-Me. If you want to fuck with me, I will fuck with you back. Just TRY and throw me out, you bastards. Try. No, really. I dare you.