27 September, 2008


It's Saturday. I really didn't want to spend the day alone, but my one cool room mate was stuck at a friend's place and had to cancel our plans. I couldn't waste a sunny day inside (especially since everyone I would want to talk to online is asleep during most of my daytime hours), so I begrudgingly dragged myself out of the house and over to Portobello Market.

It was overwhelmingly busy for someone perusing on her own. The crowds were slow, the stalls packed. I wanted to stop in a cafe or somewhere quiet, but sitting alone in such a busy social area would have really highlighted the fact that I was by myself today, like yesterday, and the day before... so I didn't stop to eat.

I think the novelty of all this time alone is beginning to wear off. I miss having friends to text when I'm waiting for a train, or a boyfriend to look forward to seeing each evening. I miss being able to call people to find a last-minute partner in crime for an event. Alone-time recharges my batteries, but they deplete much faster when I'm forced to do social things alone all the time.

The ride home on the underground seemed to take forever today. And when I finally got home, I realized that being "home" just means I'm alone some more.

I cannot wait for classes to begin. One more week, and then maybe I will finally have some focus, and the opportunity to meet like-minded people.

No comments: