02 October, 2008

Laziness or Lonliness

Low key day. I should be out, but I feel kinda shitty.

I've been working on my homework but I'm feeling a mite distracted and bored.

I got some mail today that was the second (and third) super extra annoying customs charge for a box I shipped. All in all, they've charged me an additional £250 or so for three boxes on top of the shipping fees I paid in the US. Is that trashy to talk about money? I don't care right now, I'm too annoyed to be classy about it.

It feels like I've been here longer than ten days. I suppose they have been very full days, though. Still, I wish I had more things sorted out. A real cell phone for example instead of this crappy thing I have. Or some storage in my room. Or the homework finished. Or a few more friends made. I feel like I've wasted my time here, somehow.

I really wish I had more friends. Loneliness is on the fringes of my psyche, closing in. I keep it at bay by leaving my door open to hear the sounds of my room mates, keeping my window open so I can hear street noise, and being online whenever I'm home. I start up conversations with people, but they never go anywhere. "Weird American," they must be thinking. And I've found that a little retail therapy hasn't hurt either. But when it comes down to it, I am desperate for companionship of some kind.

I feel sort of pathetic that it's only taken me 10 days or so before I've started to notice a need for other people. I was really hoping I'd find my own independent nature here. Maybe I have in some ways. No, I know I have in some ways. But I still crave a social life.

I'd like to think that I'll feel a little better if I get a big chunk of this homework assignment out of the way. But maybe it isn't the best thing for me to be sitting alone in my dorm room drawing all day.

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